How To Disappear Completely
by VietAngel
Summary: Callie is having the worst night of her life, and George is nowhere to be found. My take on how Time After Time could have gone. Contains Callie, George, Addison, Alex, and a little Meredith.


**Title**: How to Disappear Completely (1/1)  
**Author**: VietAngel  
**Rating**: PG  
**Pairing**: George/Callie, Addison/Callie (friendship), Alex/Callie (er, I don't know what they are to each other)  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own these characters...yada, yada, yada.

**Summary**: Callie's having a really rough night...and it's so much more than sleep deprivation. This is my alternative universe version of "Time After Time".

**Author's Note**: I felt like there should have been more going on with Callie during "Time After Time". She's never looked that rundown before…not even after the ferry accident when they were all working overtime. So this is my lame attempt at a storyline. It was a lot better when it was still in my head…oh well, can't win them all.

**Recommended Soundtrack**:

The Cardigans – "Couldn't Care Less"  
Bats & Mice – "Worst Comes to Worst"  
Aimee Allen – "Silence is Violence"  
Radiohead – "How to Disappear Completely" (of course)

* * *

"Hey Callie," Meredith called as she shoved a couple of clip boards in the other woman's direction. "Hey, so if you could take these two…then that would free me up too…"

"Oh…no, no, no…I'm not here to work. I'm—I'm—I'm uh…," Callie replied, trying her best to form a coherent sentence. "I'm sorry, I haven't slept in like two days, and uh, I'm actually looking for George. We're supposed to meet up for coffee."

Meredith had never seen Callie look so haggard, but two days without any quality sleep could do that to a person. Such was the life of a doctor. The workload in the clinic had her too preoccupied to notice when Callie clutched her side and winced in pain. Duty called, and she didn't have time for any further conversation.

"Oh, ok, uh…he's with Izzie, I think. So if you're not here to work I'm just going to take these back, thanks," Meredith said. She took the charts and hurried off.

Callie couldn't even muster the strength to be pissed at George for forgetting about her. She was exhausted and starting to cramp like crazy. Had she been able to think normally, she would have known something was wrong then. Instead, she assumed it was just PMS. Despite feeling utterly awful, she tried to continue with her work.

At 8:00 p.m., with two hours to go on her shift, she couldn't take it anymore. No more surgeries, no more patients, no more people. Her head was pounding and the pain in her abdomen had only gotten worse. She retreated to the peace and quiet of the conference room to complete her charts. She was halfway through her notes on a hip replacement when a particularly sharp pain sent her crashing to the floor. She cried out and tears immediately began to stream down her face. She reached out, grabbing the seat of the chair to try and pull herself up. She pulled back when she realized it was soaked in her blood. She was too tired, too hurt…both physically and emotionally. She couldn't get up, she just couldn't. She curled up on the floor—hugging her knees to her chest—and cried.

Meredith and Alex were just returning from a coffee run. Alex stopped short just in front of the conference room door.

"Shhh! Listen. Is that…crying?" he said. Meredith listened then nodded her affirmation. They peeked through the window. The blinds were closed, but they could see small spaces where the cords held the pieces together. Callie's position hid her from their view, but Alex caught sight of the blood in the chair and that was all he needed to see to rush in with Meredith hot on his heels.

"Oh my God…Callie!" she exclaimed. They were both in shock. She was the last person they'd expected to find. Alex immediately scooped the crumpled woman into his arms and Meredith kneeled beside them. He had spent enough time on the gynie squad to know exactly what was happening and his heart broke for her.

"Mer, I need you to go page Dr. Montgomery and tell her I'm on my way up," he said. He tightened his grip on Callie and quickly got to his feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. She didn't want them to see her cry, but she couldn't help it. It took everything in him not to freak out. She had always reminded him of himself in a way. She always seemed guarded and tough—she was a fighter just like him, but here she was all broken and emotional. What little he had left of his heart shattered as gut wrenching sobs escaped her throat and hot tears soaked through his shirt. She called George's name. Where the hell was that little shrimp?

"Don't worry, I've got you. Mer will find George," he whispered to her as he started out of the room.

"Mer, find O'Malley and tell him to get his ass upstairs to OB now," he said.

"Are you sure you don't need me to get a gurney?" she asked.

"No, I've got her. Just find George…and make sure you tell Dr. Montgomery who I'm bringing up," he replied. Meredith nodded and took off down the hall. Alex made his way down the hall in the opposite direction, glaring at anyone who dared to stare at Callie like she was some kind of sideshow freak.

When the elevator doors finally opened, Addison was waiting with a nurse and a gurney. Alex laid Callie down gently and stepped out of Addison's way so she could begin examining her friend.

"Callie?" she started. "Can you tell me what happened?" She waited patiently as Callie tried to calm down and catch her breath. Addison looked to Alex for confirmation of what she already knew…Callie was having a miscarriage. Alex watched as Addison's eyes filled with tears. She didn't let them fall—she couldn't. Her best friend was falling apart and she needed to be strong for her.

"I didn't know, Addie. I—I didn't even know! I'm sorry, I should have done…something…I should have…" Callie cried.

"No! Don't you dare start blaming yourself, do you hear me?" Addison said as she wiped the tears from Callie's eyes. "Damn it, this is not your fault! You did nothing wrong. These things just happen, and you'll never know how sorry I am that it happened to you."

Addison was trying her hardest to remain professional, but this wasn't just any patient—this was Callie Torres, her big goofball of a best friend. Up until this moment, only she and George had ever been privy to Callie's emotional side. Right now she was laying there with her wounded soul wide open—emotions laid bare for all the world to see. Addison knew that Callie wept from the unwanted attention as much as she did for the loss of the child she hadn't even known she was carrying.

"Cal, I have to check you out ok?" Addison stated softly as she brushed a lock of hair from Callie's face. She felt warm, and that worried Addison immensely. Callie hadn't looked well all day and fever was usually a sign of infection. "I'll need to do a D & C to stop the bleeding and help prevent infection."

"Where's George?" Callie choked out as she searched the room frantically with her red, swollen eyes. "I need George."

Addison looked to Alex for an answer. He picked up his cell phone, talked briefly with someone, and then shook his head. George wasn't here and apparently no one knew where he was.

"Meredith is trying to find him, but he's not answering his pages or his phone," Alex spoke up.

Callie immediately began to hyperventilate. She needed George; she needed her husband and he was nowhere to be found. He was too busy doing who knows what with Izzie Stevens while she was losing their child. It was too much, it was all too much and she couldn't breathe.

Alex sat Callie up and tried to help her calm down while Addison kicked everyone else out of the room. She was going to strangle George the next time she saw him. He should be here with his wife. He was neglectful and absent…just like Derek was when they were together. Callie was too devastated and heartbroken to be furious, but she was furious enough for the both of them. When Callie was breathing as normally as a person who was crying hysterically could, Addison quietly excused Alex from the room. He was uncharacteristically reluctant to leave, but he understood that Callie needed privacy for this next part.

"Alex wait," Callie called to her softly. He walked over and stood in front of her. She threw her arms around him and he stiffened at the unexpected contact…but he soon relaxed into the hug and squeezed her gently.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear. He kissed her cheek and squeezed her hand before making his exit. Addison watched the entire exchange in shock because it was so out of character for both of them…there was a connection there and none of them knew why or how. When Alex was gone, it was time for Addison to get to work. Callie was reluctant…she wanted to wait for George. She needed George to be there to hold her hand.

"You know I would wait if I could, but I need to stop the bleeding. You know as well as I do that the longer we wait, the higher your risk of infection," Addison pleaded with her. "I promise I'll have George waiting for you when we're done…even if I have to have his legs broken to do it."

Callie sighed dejectedly and agreed. Addison was careful to do everything as quickly and painlessly as possible. Before Callie knew it she was coming to, and George was by her bedside just as Addison had promised.

"I'm so sorry baby—so, so sorry," he said as he kissed her forehead. She didn't want him to touch her, but she was too groggy and weak to push him away. He waited patiently as she struggled to get her bearings.

"Where were you?" she asked softly.

"I'm so sorry Callie. I uh, I got held up in the clinic—you know how it is," he replied. She was already heartbroken, but him…he smashed those pieces into a million more then set them on fire. She closed her eyes and drew a shaky breath as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Don't lie to me, George. You weren't in the clinic. We had plans—I had a coffee date with my husband…so when you didn't show up I went to the clinic to find you. So you tell me the truth—show me a little respect for once and tell me the truth. Where were you?" she asked again. Her throat was sore and raw from crying, so her voice was barely above a whisper. He had to lean in close to hear her. "What was so important that you couldn't be bothered to come be with me while I was losing our child? What was so important that you just lied to my face?"

Callie couldn't even look at him, and in that instant—in the first moment of clarity she'd experienced since she'd known George—she knew she couldn't do this anymore. She could feel his tears splashing against her hand, but her heart held no sympathy for him…not this time. For the first time, her love for him wasn't clouding her vision. Her eyes were open, her mind was clear, and she didn't like what she saw.

"Callie, I…you're right. You deserve the truth," George started. He hadn't meant for things to get so out of hand; he never meant to hurt her. She had just lost their baby and the fact that he wasn't there for her killed him. She couldn't even look at him and he felt like there were thumbtacks being pushed into his heart. He loved her, he really did…and he knew how completely fucked up it was to realize you love your wife for the first time when she's lying devastated in a hospital bed. "I was with Izzie. She had a baby when she was 16 and gave it up for adoption…that baby, Izzie's daughter is here. She has cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant. Her parents asked Izzie to be a donor. I was upstairs holding her hand when I should have been here holding yours."

"Did you fuck her?" Callie asked, finally meeting his eyes.

"What?" George responded incredulously.

"You heard me. I'm not stupid, George…I recognize guilt when I see it. You've been acting guilty for a while now, you and Izzie both. I already know the answer, I just need to hear it from you," she replied.

"I…" he started. He thought about lying, but that's what had gotten him into this whole mess in the first place, and he didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had. "Yes. The night you kicked me out, I went to her…we talked, got drunk. We slept together, but I didn't even remember until we were having lunch with your dad."

She couldn't believe it. He hid it from her, lied to her…slept with another woman and then came home to their bed, made love to her like nothing had ever happened. She was disgusted, she wanted to throw up but she wouldn't let him see her break.

"Get out," she said simply, her voice well above a whisper.

"Callie, please don't do this. I love you, I need you understand that," he pleaded.

"You love me? Is love why you slept with another woman? Is love why I never warrant a second thought from you? You don't love me…you never have. God, you even lie to yourself," she said with a bitter laugh.

"How could you say that?" he yelled. "You're my wife! Sleeping with Izzie was a mistake, just a stupid mistake! You have my attention now, you have all of me. From this point on you'll always be first in my life, I'll make it up to you…I'll make it all up to you, I promise."

"Shut up! Just shut up! I'm sick of your lies and empty promises!" she screamed. "You know what, George…you had me—all of me—from the moment I met you, but you? You've never been mine to have. I just didn't want to believe it. I gave you all I had to give and got nothing in return. I'm sick of being an afterthought…I'm sick of second place. You and me? We're done."

She glanced over to the door and saw Addison and Alex just beyond the door frame. She didn't have to wonder how much they'd heard. The way Alex looked like he wanted to charge in and break George in half gave it all away.

"Cal…" George started, but she cut him off before he could say another word. She didn't want to hear it. She meant what she said…they were through, and he was devastated.

Callie sat up slowly and kicked her legs off the side of the bed. Addison came in and began disconnecting Callie's IV. She shot seething glances at George the whole time, but didn't say a word. She helped Callie get dressed in a clean pair of scrubs, then put her shoes on her and helped her into her coat. She then called for Alex, who came in with a wheelchair in tow. Callie would have protested, but she was too tired to put up a fight.

Alex helped her into the wheelchair and was just about to start pushing Callie toward the door when she stopped him. She looked at George just to see if there was anything there; any little bit of the love she had once felt…but there was nothing. She had just gone through one of the most traumatic experiences of her life and he wasn't there. She had been pushed aside for the last time. He looked back at her with hope in his eyes, but all he saw in hers was pain and betrayal. The credits were rolling on their relationship and there was nothing he could do to change it.

"I'm staying with Addison tonight. I want every trace of you gone by noon tomorrow. Don't bother trying to stick around in the hopes that we could talk it out. I'm sending him by first," she said, nodding toward Alex, "and I'm not putting any restrictions on what he can do to you if he finds you."

Addison was standing behind the wheelchair now and she bent, pressing a chaste kiss to the top of Callie's head. Alex grabbed the bag containing Callie's personal effects, while Addison pushed her friend toward the door. George could do nothing but sit there with his head in his hands. That old cliché was right…you don't know what you've got til it's gone.

"How are you feeling sweetie? Do you need anything before we head in?" Addison asked as the trio headed out of the hospital and into the cool night air. Callie took a deep breath, contemplated the answer, and then smiled.

"I feel—I feel like...for the first time in months, I feel like I can breathe," she said. She looked up to Addison, and then Alex…and she knew that she would be ok. "I have everything I need right here."

**Fin**.


End file.
